


The 5 times Blaine almost finds out about Kurt’s obsession with Cooper Anderson and the 1 time he does.

by mischiefreblogged



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-30
Updated: 2012-08-30
Packaged: 2017-11-13 05:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischiefreblogged/pseuds/mischiefreblogged
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt Hummel is a fan of Hollywood Hearthrob Cooper Anderson. Blaine doesn’t know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The 5 times Blaine almost finds out about Kurt’s obsession with Cooper Anderson and the 1 time he does.

**Author's Note:**

> Written pre-Big Brother when all we knew was that Cooper was in Hollywood. Turns out the ringtone part was right.

It’s not avoidance of the issue if it just never comes up. That’s what Kurt tries to remember when he realizes that Blaine has never really discussed his brother. 

It’s not full disclosure if you’ve never asked. That’s what Blaine realizes when he honestly sits back and tries to remember if Kurt’s hidden something from him this long. 

Most importantly, when they discuss it later, they realize together that in the grand scheme of things all this incident really makes for is a really, really good story to recall at their wedding. (What they don’t realize is letting Cooper tell it means that it’s more fiction than fact.)  
What Cooper doesn’t realize was there had been a handful of close calls far before the embarrassing incident that brought everything to a head. 

The first time is Burt’s fault. There’s a lot of activity the first few weeks of Blaine and Kurt’s friendship, between the wedding, the moving of house and the blending of two families as well as Kurt’s transfer to Dalton. It’s not the time to start discussing all the horrible misguided crushes of one’s youth, especially when one is trying to impress a prep school boy who has basically swept into your life like a white knight on an equally impressive steed. 

Burt doesn’t seem to understand that and unearths the old posters that Kurt had tastefully placed in frames (posters on walls were so pedestrian) and asked if Kurt intended to keep any of them. At the top of the pile, just under a shirtless Taylor Lautner, was a familiar sweep of well coifed hair and a well chiseled forehead. Liking Lautner is one thing, but Kurt doesn’t think Blaine will understand his old (he swears it’s old — he hasn’t thought of Coop, as he affectionately calls him — in weeks). He practically tackles Burt to the ground and dumps the posters, frames and all into the nearby trash bag. 

Only once Blaine has gone home, a slightly bemused expression on his face, does he rescue Coop from the trash. After all, that was his first real interview, and what good fan would throw out such precious memorabilia.

The second time is all Kurt’s carelessness. He knows he shouldn’t be on the internet during study period and he certainly shouldn’t be in the Cooper Anderson tag but it’s his week to moderate the blog and there’s a bevy of photos from the latest LGBT youth support event that Cooper attended last night that are begging to be plaster all over fuckyeahcooperanderson. He subtly hits reblog over a few of Cooper and his latest piece of arm candy and likes several press interviews where Cooper discusses the idea that of course gays can marry. 

“What are you doing?” Blaine slides in beside him, having been released to the library from English to research an essay. 

“Nothing!” Kurt slams the laptop shut with such a force the computer goes skidding a few inches. He smiles at Blaine. “So, Regionals.” 

That’s all that takes to redirect him and he’s off extolling the merits of a Katy Perry mash-up. Kurt pulls the laptop closer to his chest with a small content sigh. Who needs Cooper Anderson when there’s a real living, breathing boy in front of him? 

The third time it’s Carole. Well that’s not fair entirely; she’d been trying to be nice, bringing home the newest issue of People magazine. He and Blaine had been lounging in the backyard in the early summer sun and she’d dangled the latest issue over them. 

“I was in line at the grocery store and flipping through and saw an article on —-” 

Kurt cuts her off with practiced ease. Blaine’s told him how his brother lives in L.A. and how he finds all the Hollywood nonsense ridiculous having grown up around it. “Just put it on my bed.” 

“We could have read that,” Blaine murmurs, stroking Kurt’s hand lazily with his thumb. 

“If you want to read something, I’ll go get Vogue.” Kurt hums. “It’s much less trashy.” 

Blaine lets out a huff of agreement and pulls Kurt closer to him. “Or we could just lie here,” he kisses Kurt gently on the cheek. 

Kurt turns his head and kisses him full on the lips. He’s much better than some magazine. “Or we can just lie here,” he agrees. 

The fourth time is actually Blaine’s fault. They’re suppose to be heading for a movie date but Kurt finds him in his room instead, watching the same video clip of Cooper over and over again, a strange look on his face. For a moment Kurt wonders if this is the first time he’s been hit with CoopFever because he looks a little shell-shocked. It takes all his effort not to squeal in delight that maybe Blaine and he are going to share a Hollywood crush. But he doesn’t want to push it. He’ll let Blaine fall in love with him just like Kurt did all those years ago. 

“What are you watching?” he presses play and Cooper’s warm, jovial voice fills the room. 

“My inspiration? Definitely my little brother. He’s been through a lot and I admire the strength he has every day just to be himself and not let anyone get him down.” 

Kurt’s heard the line before. He’s always assumed from the way Cooper talks that his brother has a disability or some sort of disorder. He smiles at Blaine. 

“That’s so sweet.” he coils his arms loosely around Blaine’s neck. “It’s so genuine. He obviously loves his little brother a lot,” Kurt imagines just for a moment Cooper coming home to a little boy with crutches and lifting him high above his head and twirling him around.

“Yeah,” Blaine’s voice is strangled slightly. “It’s really—-” he trails off and Kurt’s grin widens. Yes, Blaine looks like he’s been bitten by the Cooper Bug. 

“He’s from Ohio you know,” Kurt continues. “It’s nice to know that you can get out of here.” 

Blaine nods slowly as if he’s emerging from a fog. “Yeah. When’s the movie start?” He gets up and closes the browser window. 

“We have some time.” 

Blaine looks around the room slowly as if he’s never seen it before. 

“We should go. Don’t want to be late.” He gets up and drags Kurt down the stairs quickly as if he can’t leave the house fast enough. 

The fifth time, Kurt’s inclined to blame the computer. Really he’s just frustrated because the CoopFever, if it ever was that, has passed through Blaine leaving him completely untainted and no more in love with Cooper Anderson then he was before. Kurt decides that it’s probably the last name. Common or not, it must be awkward to imagine. 

He lets Blaine on his computer to retrieve a set of old notes to study with. The eye surgery had threatened his academics once more and Kurt refuses to let another year get between them.

“What’s in this folder?” Blaine’s hovering the mouse over Kurt’s secret stash of RPF starring one Cooper Anderson who has a notorious habit of randomly appearing in Lima of all places and becoming Kurt’s boyfriend. (He had been 14 and lonely. None of it was published, it was just stupid and a little bit of comfort. He didn’t even know why it was still on his computer). 

“Nothing, the notes are in that folder.” Kurt takes the mouse from him and opens the right folder. He kisses Blaine to distract him again and slides into his lap. “Now, how about we study.” 

“Study,” Blaine repeats, distracted now, all thoughts of folders forgotten. “Yes.”

Kurt threads his fingers through Blaine’s mess of curls and gel and nibbles at his lower lip. “Perfect,” he makes a mental note to delete the folder as soon as Blaine leaves. There’s no need for it any more. 

The final time, it’s really just a series of unfortunate events, woven together to create the perfect storm of irony and humiliation. 

He’s trying to show Blaine something on his phone and his hand fumbles with the keys because Blaine chooses that exact moment to say something intentionally double entendre and far too dirty for the halls of McKinley High. Very suddenly (and very awkwardly) the sounds of Baby Got Back blast from the tiny speakers of his phone and even worse it’s not the original Sir-Mix-A-Lot, it’s the Cooper Anderson behind the scenes, terrible quality but such a guilty pleasure, variant. 

Blaine jumps away from Kurt like he’s suddenly sprouted an extra head or tentacles. 

“What’s that?” His face is a mixture of horror and—-embarrassment? “How’d you get that?” 

The words don’t even register as Kurt fumbles to shut the damn song off. “It’s nothing!” he practically shrieks. “It’s just—-stupid. It’s stupid,” he can feel heat licking up his face and he knows he must be blushing furiously. 

“I don’t think it’s stupid,” the voice isn’t Blaine’s, and neither is the arm snaking lazily around Blaine’s shoulder. “I thought my rendition was flawless.” 

Kurt’s brain goes into overdrive trying to process what’s happening. He’s relatively sure the Cooper Anderson is suddenly in front of him. His face feels numb and he wonders if when you have a stroke at 18 if it’s normal to imagine your crush casually dangling off your boyfriend. 

Blaine lets out a squawk and jumps away from Cooper, which Kurt at least takes as a sign that Cooper is real and not that he’s sudden developed a very dedicated brain tumour. 

“That’s not very nice Blainers,” Cooper scolds. “Where’s my hug hello. Or my introduction,” he sticks a hand out to Kurt who eyes it. “Cooper Anderson, but I think you already know that.” 

And suddenly in a rush of hysteria induced clarity Kurt understands. 

“Cooper is related to you,” he announces at the same time that Blaine looks at him absolutely mortified and declares. 

“You like Cooper?” 

“Everyone likes Cooper,” says the man himself. “Now, little brother. Introductions. Hop to.” 

“This is Kurt,” Blaine starts, still looking mortified. 

“You’re the little brother!” Kurt’s mouth has clearly detached from his brain and is running on its own. “You —oh! Oh!” 

“Do you make that sound in bed too?” Cooper asks innocently which earns him a direct hit to the shoulder from Blaine. “Ow. Alright. Nice to know the boxing lessons I paid for worked,” he wiggles his hand, still extended in greeting. “So you’re the one who makes Blainers so ridiculously happy. Thanks for taking care of him.” 

But his warm sentiments are completely lost on Kurt. “You told me your brother worked in L.A.!” he accuses Blaine, voice slightly beyond shrill. 

“He does!” Blaine defends. 

“I do,” Cooper agrees, clearly amused. 

“This is vital information,” Kurt insists, waving a hand in Cooper’s direction. 

Blaine’s face falls slightly. “Is it really?” He looks as sad as Kurt’s ever seen him, like Kurt had reached into his chest and ripped his heart out. He never wants to see Blaine look at him like that. 

He reaches out towards Blaine and realizes in an instant what that must have sounded like. How Blaine must have weighed out the options and realized a long time ago that Cooper would garner him popularity and friends but more than likely just surround him with people who were only interested him for his fame-by-association. “No. It’s not.” he steps forward and puts his own hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “I love you, Blaine.”

The hallway isn’t the place to say more. To have Kurt assure Blaine that he doesn’t care at all if Blaine were related to George Clooney or Taylor Lautner. Blaine was who he wanted and who he had. So instead he just holds Blaine’s gaze and tries to make Blaine understand with just a look. 

Blaine lights up once more. “I love you too.” Suddenly they’re the only ones in the hall, and everything is okay again. 

“Oh gross, it’s just as bad as I imagined,” Cooper gags, dragging them out of their own little world, the one they inhabit more often than not. “You two are disgustingly in love,” he pretends to look sickened for a second then his face splits into a large grin and suddenly Kurt can see the resemblance. “I’m glad I got to see that.” 

He slings a hand around Blaine’s shoulder again. “Now show me why you possibly left Dalton for this hell hole.” 

Blaine blushes and reaches a hand out for Kurt to take. “I just did,” he leans into Kurt and whispers. “So how bad is it going to be when I find out just how much you like Cooper?” 

“Bad. Very bad,” Kurt admits, but he doesn’t care because even with both options in front of him, he knows he’s chosen the right one. 

Because who needs Cooper Anderson when he has Blaine?


End file.
